Booksology Good morning my friends.
I didn’t plan to do this, but I think I must.
I’m going to take a day or two for prayer. Writing these posts requires me to read and research extensively, and that means I take repeated deep dives into the evil that is besetting us.
My sister died last May, and I am still grieving. Reading and writing about the destruction of America on top of that can be hard. There are days when I feel that I lost my sister, and I am losing my country, both in one year.
I find I need to repeatedly step back and just spend time with the Lord to keep my footing.
I read a book Sunday called Blind Descent. It’s the first person story of Brian Dickinson, a devout Christian, who solo climbed Mount Everest and went snow blind, alone, at the summit. He managed to climb down from the summit, alone and blind.
It’s a quick read and a fascinating story of faith, courage and resilience. I recommend it.
In the book, Dickinson talks a lot about his Special Operations training as a Navy Rescue Swimmer. This training helped him when he found himself alone and blind at the top of the world. But the primary thing that kept him together was the love he had for his wife and children and his deep faith in God.
That is a bit of a metaphor for what we are facing now, as the Mad King dismantles our democracy and we hurtle toward an evil and oppressive totalitarian dictatorship that has elements of both fascism and communism. We made a mistake by handing our country over to the Mad King and his regime of psychopathic billionaires and their equally psychopathic stooges. But we didn’t get here in a day.
It took a long time to weaken the American people to the point that they would turn suicidal enough to support someone like Trump. The break down in morals and true faith in the real Christ of the Gospels was created by decades of abuse heaped on our heads from every direction, including politicized and spiritually manipulative and abusive religious leaders.
It’s not our fault, or at least, it’s not entirely our fault. In many ways that really matter, we have been sheep without shepherds. That made us easy pickings for the wolves. Sadly, all too many times, the people we thought were our shepherds have been wolves themselves.
Besides reading, I spent a lot of time praying Sunday. I came away from that reassured that I’m doing what God wants me to do. I’m doing it imperfectly and totally inadequately. But I am trying my best to do it with honesty and integrity of purpose.
However, dealing with the open and unapologetic evil that has overtaken our America on a daily basis, even at the remove of just reading about it and putting facts together in order to write a simple blog post, can be like taking an acid bath. It immerses me in the lies, malice, greed, corruption, total disregard for the common good or human life that I think are the driving motivations of this regime. It’s like sitting down and reading Satan’s daily diary.
I don’t have much of a stake in the future. My story is mostly told. I am, actually, looking forward to the day when I will go to be with Lord. But He has placed me here now, in this time, in this place. And he has given me the enormous gift of allowing me to do something, however small it is, for Him.
He has also given me the incomparable gifts of a loving husband and children and grandchildren who I love far more than I love my own life. My children and grandchildren do have a stake in the future. My grandchildren will live through most or perhaps all of this century. That means the future matters enormously to me, even though I won’t be here to see much more of it.
Wherever God places me, I want to do His will. However long I live, I want to love and care for the family He has given me.
I love my God. I love my family. I love my country.
And they are all three under attack by this evil regime and its Mad King.
When I was going through cancer treatment, I learned in a most decisive way that the only courage I have is the courage God gives me. I remember going to the hospital, sitting in the passenger seat while my husband drove, while fear crawled over me like an electric current. I prayed, and asked God for courage. I told Him, I don’t have any courage except what You give me. The only courage I have comes from You.
Immediately, in that moment, I felt peace and calm flowing into me. It was incredible. I’d been a Christian for decades. But I had never understood this simple fact: You ask. He gives.
All you have to do is ask, and God will help you.
In the book, Blind Descent, Dickinson talked about The Third Man. Mountain climbers talk about The Third Man a lot. But it’s not something that only happens to the kind of people who push themselves beyond their endurance climbing mountains. It happens when any of us are in extreme, life-threatening distress which requires us to keep on keeping on past what we can do in order to survive.
The Third Man is a presence that walks with us through those toughest of all times. I once read a book that discussed the phenomena of The Third Man. It attempted to explain it in biological and psychological terms. I would guess that sometimes those explanations are sufficient.
But I am convinced that The Third Man is often a real presence of an Other who comes to help us. I’ve encountered The Third Man at least three times in my life.
One of them is too personal to discuss in a forum like this. One was when I was in office and under attack and trying to pass pro life legislation. I don’t want to discuss the specific event in a blog post, but I felt, not just one, but two, Presences, standing on either side of me. The third time was when I had cancer.
I don’t know if this Presence is our guardian angels (I think I have two of them, btw) or the Holy Spirit. But I believe it’s real. We are not alone in our sorrows and fears. We are never alone. And if we ask, He gives.
I have found that if I don’t step back and spend time talking with the Lord, if I don’t immerse myself in His Presence, I can’t do the hard things in life and do them well. I will inevitably go off on my own thinking and my own ways, and then I will do harm, not good. I know my capacity for sin and failure because I have sinned and failed.
We can’t do Christ’s will on our own understanding by following our own will. We can’t go it alone.
So, I’m going to take one of my periodic breaks and spend time in prayer. Then, I’ll be back. Please pray for me. I always pray for you.
